Many learning and behavior problems begin in your grocery cart!
Did you know that the brand of ice cream, cookie, and potato chip you select could have a direct effect on the behavior, health, and ability to learn for you or your children?
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Sue Scheff: Can Your Child's Diet Affect their Behavior?
Many learning and behavior problems begin in your grocery cart!
Did you know that the brand of ice cream, cookie, and potato chip you select could have a direct effect on the behavior, health, and ability to learn for you or your children?
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
How Expectations Contribute to Success by Connect with Kids
Research shows that kids who grow up under high expectations do better than kids who don’t. And experts say kids start learning those expectations as babies. What do you expect from your kids? How is it working?
The Power of Expectations explores how setting goals can help children succeed. It also explores the dangers when parents have unrealistic expectations for their children, and how that shows up as stress, anxiety, and acting out with risky behaviors.
How do you balance the success you want for your child, as well as your own feelings, with what your child is truly capable of? How do you avoid expecting too much, or not enough? Watch The Power of Expectations, where you’ll learn from other families facing these same issues, along with powerful advice from child experts and educators.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Reinforcing Honesty in Children with ADD
Use rewards and gentle encouragement to discourage fibbing from your child with ADD
All children lie occasionally. But because of impulsivity and low self-esteem — and their tendency to make mistakes that they think need covering up — kids with ADHD are especially prone to stretching the truth. That worries parents. Lying can cause kids to lose friends and get into trouble with teachers and other authority figures.
How should parents react when they catch their child in a lie? What can be done to help a child recognize the importance of telling the truth?
First, realize that the impulse to tell fibs does not make your youngster a bad person, nor is it evidence of a character flaw. It’s just a byproduct of ADHD — almost a symptom. And like other symptoms of the disorder, it can often be helped by medication.
Even with drug therapy, your child may need extra coaching to understand the importance of truth telling. Here are the strategies I suggest to the parents I work with:
Explain the downside of deceit.
Some kids tell lies out of insecurity, concocting fanciful stories in an effort to boost their popularity. One girl I work with, Susan, told her schoolmates that she was friends with a pop star, and that this star was going to pick her up from school in a limousine. When her mom got wind of this tale, she confronted Susan, who tearfully admitted she had made the whole thing up to seem “more interesting.”
Punishing an insecure child like Susan is likely to do more harm than good. Instead, make sure your child understands what will happen if she gets caught in a lie. Ask, “What if your friends discover your lie?” The downside of telling a lie — even a relatively benign one like the one Susan told — may be obvious to grownups. But kids need to be reminded that lying usually causes more problems than it eliminates — and that if they stretch the truth today, there may be fallout tomorrow.
Encourage your child to pause before speaking.
Instead of taking time to respond appropriately (and truthfully) to tough questions, impulsive kids blurt out an answer — even if the answer is an exaggeration or a blatant falsehood. Teach your child to silently count to three before speaking, and to use that time to formulate a truthful answer.
If your child says something you know to be untrue, stay calm. Reacting angrily, or with obvious dismay, will only make your child feel the need to tell additional lies to defuse the situation — and end up digging herself into an even deeper hole.
Give your child the opportunity to reconsider her answer.
Say, “Did you really finish your homework? I don’t think you did. I’ll give you another chance to answer, with no consequences for lying.” Whether this “truth check” is done immediately or a few hours later, it teaches kids to second-guess an untruthful answer. Giving your child another chance does not mean that she can escape responsibility for the underlying matter. For example, even though the child will not be punished for lying about having completed his homework, he should still be required to complete it.
Reward honesty.
When a child lies to cover up mistakes or misbehavior, it can be tempting to pile on the “consequences.” But in encouraging honesty, rewards are often better than punishment.
After one of my clients caught her son, Joe, lying about an incident at school, she decided to try something new: She told Joe that, if she “caught” him being truthful, he would earn a token redeemable for a trip to the movies. Joe has gotten a lot better at owning up to his misadventures.
How should parents react when they catch their child in a lie? What can be done to help a child recognize the importance of telling the truth?
First, realize that the impulse to tell fibs does not make your youngster a bad person, nor is it evidence of a character flaw. It’s just a byproduct of ADHD — almost a symptom. And like other symptoms of the disorder, it can often be helped by medication.
Even with drug therapy, your child may need extra coaching to understand the importance of truth telling. Here are the strategies I suggest to the parents I work with:
Explain the downside of deceit.
Some kids tell lies out of insecurity, concocting fanciful stories in an effort to boost their popularity. One girl I work with, Susan, told her schoolmates that she was friends with a pop star, and that this star was going to pick her up from school in a limousine. When her mom got wind of this tale, she confronted Susan, who tearfully admitted she had made the whole thing up to seem “more interesting.”
Punishing an insecure child like Susan is likely to do more harm than good. Instead, make sure your child understands what will happen if she gets caught in a lie. Ask, “What if your friends discover your lie?” The downside of telling a lie — even a relatively benign one like the one Susan told — may be obvious to grownups. But kids need to be reminded that lying usually causes more problems than it eliminates — and that if they stretch the truth today, there may be fallout tomorrow.
Encourage your child to pause before speaking.
Instead of taking time to respond appropriately (and truthfully) to tough questions, impulsive kids blurt out an answer — even if the answer is an exaggeration or a blatant falsehood. Teach your child to silently count to three before speaking, and to use that time to formulate a truthful answer.
If your child says something you know to be untrue, stay calm. Reacting angrily, or with obvious dismay, will only make your child feel the need to tell additional lies to defuse the situation — and end up digging herself into an even deeper hole.
Give your child the opportunity to reconsider her answer.
Say, “Did you really finish your homework? I don’t think you did. I’ll give you another chance to answer, with no consequences for lying.” Whether this “truth check” is done immediately or a few hours later, it teaches kids to second-guess an untruthful answer. Giving your child another chance does not mean that she can escape responsibility for the underlying matter. For example, even though the child will not be punished for lying about having completed his homework, he should still be required to complete it.
Reward honesty.
When a child lies to cover up mistakes or misbehavior, it can be tempting to pile on the “consequences.” But in encouraging honesty, rewards are often better than punishment.
After one of my clients caught her son, Joe, lying about an incident at school, she decided to try something new: She told Joe that, if she “caught” him being truthful, he would earn a token redeemable for a trip to the movies. Joe has gotten a lot better at owning up to his misadventures.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Sue Scheff - A Parent's True Story and more
Our story has been read by thousands of families since I posted it years ago. I have been through litigation and proved my story is our experiences. I fought back as I have been maliciously attacked online and won an unprecedented jury verdict for damages of over $11M! My daughter and I are fighters - that is how she endured Carolina Springs Academy and I endured 5 years of litigation victoriously!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Sue Scheff: Parents Know What Your Teens are Doing
Parents are the #1 Reason Kids Don't Do Drugs.... Test with HairConfirm Drug Test for a 90 Day Drug History Report!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Sue Scheff: Teen Cyber Safety
In today's society, the Internet has made its way into almost every American home. It is a well-known fact that the web is a valuable asset for research and learning. Unfortunately, it can also be a very dangerous place for teens. With social networking sites like Myspace and Friendster, chat rooms, instant messaging, and online role-playing video games, our children are at access to almost anyone. Sue Scheff, along with Parent's Universal Resource Experts™, is tackling the dangers of the web.
Keeping tabs on our teens' online habits doesn't just keep them safe from online predators. More and more parents are becoming wary of the excessive hours their teens spend surfing the web, withdrawing from family, friends and activities they used to enjoy. Internet Addiction is a devastating problem facing far too many teens and their families. While medical professionals have done limited research on the topic, more and more are recognizing this destructive behavior and even more, the potential mental effects it can have.
Though the web is a great place for learning and can be safe for keeping in touch, it is important that families understand the potential risks and dangers to find a healthy balance between real and virtual life.
Learn More About Internet Safety.
Keeping tabs on our teens' online habits doesn't just keep them safe from online predators. More and more parents are becoming wary of the excessive hours their teens spend surfing the web, withdrawing from family, friends and activities they used to enjoy. Internet Addiction is a devastating problem facing far too many teens and their families. While medical professionals have done limited research on the topic, more and more are recognizing this destructive behavior and even more, the potential mental effects it can have.
Though the web is a great place for learning and can be safe for keeping in touch, it is important that families understand the potential risks and dangers to find a healthy balance between real and virtual life.
Learn More About Internet Safety.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Sue Scheff First Book Wit's End is Almost Here!
Sue Scheff is a parent advocate who founded Parents’ Universal Resources Experts, Inc. (P.U.R.E.) in 2001. She has been featured on 20/20, The Rachel Ray Show, ABC News, Canadian CBC Sunday News Magazine, CNN Headline News, Fox News, BBC Talk Radio, and NPR, discussing topics of Internet defamation as well as her work helping troubled teens and their families through her organization. To learn more about P.U.R.E. or visit www.helpyourteens.com and to contact the author, visit www.suescheff.com.
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